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“You are not a drop in the ocean, you are the entire ocean in one drop.“ ~ Rumi
I suspect when most of us reach a certain age reminiscing becomes a larger feature in our daily life — exploring the ever fascinating topic of how we became — what we became.
As it should be as you experience your life moving toward its eventual conclusion.
I find myself developing an ever deeper appreciation for a beautiful sunset.
So in my sunset years I have been remembering when I bumped into karma when I was 36 while attempting to live my life without alcohol.
- The year life finally had its way with me.
- The year I learned I was a student of life, not its teacher.
- The year I took my seat at the back of the class.
Since that fateful year I’ve been attending the courses life has offered me, one after the next.
Sobriety has been my classroom.
Happily, I’ve been able to share a little of what I’ve learned with you through our weekly Just A Thought posts.
— And its been so, so good to have you along for the ride.
So let me reminisce with you on how I bumped into —
Karma
It happened while I was writing my Fourth Step (moral inventory).
The whole process had been hard at first. I was more used to explaining away my behavior, not owning it.
Let’s just say rigorous honesty hadn’t been my long suit.
Up until then I thought Newton’s Third Law of Motion didn’t apply to me.
So when I finished the step and read what I had written it became quite clear to me —
Newton got it right!
All my actions came with opposite and equal reactions.
Simply put: I may have chosen to ignore my actions, but my actions never chose to ignore me — not once, not ever!
It was a stunning revelation!
For the first time I was forced to take ownership of my life, my whole life.
The step allowed me to see how it all had played out —
- step by step
- year by year
- by my own admission
BAM! Karma had been the through-line in my story, proving to me — what goes around comes around, and —
— what came around went around.
A principle that rocked me.
- I wasn’t nearly the victim I imagined.
- I wasn’t born on the right side of life.
- I wasn’t anymore chosen than the next guy.
Pride and ego had been the controlling forces in my life.
The Fourth Step was a game changer.
As I reread what I had written it also became clear karma had a dark side.
Some of my actions, whether intentional or not, had harmed other people. As a consequence I had:
- circles that needed closing,
- individuals who needed apologies.
These fence-mending activities went on for years.
I will say this about that Fourth Step — it did me just about as much good as anything I’ve ever done in my entire life. Understanding the workings of karma reconciled me to myself like nothing else.
Then through the discipline of recovery — practicing the Twelve Steps — I saw Newton’s law could lead to a better life:
- Helping others wasn’t just charity; it was karmic physics.
- Sharing my lessons with others generated tangible results.
- The good karma of service returned as strength in my own sobriety.
- Supporting others became the very energy sustaining my recovery.
- Fulfillment flowed not from receiving, but from giving.
I learned redemption is an ACT that plays out in daily acts of service.
The was my grand awakening to the truth that goodness is earned, not bestowed.
In my 36th year I was humbled and taught a universal truth — kindness I extend, harm I inflict — none of it vanishes. It gathers momentum and returns.
All our choices echo back to us.
I learned karma isn’t mystical punishment, but the natural consequence of
- how I do
- what I do
I am not a passive observer of fate; I am an active participant.
What did I learn in my 36th year?
I make my own karma!
Just a thought…
Pat