I thought it was time to pay homage to all our grandmothers.
It has been one of the great pleasures of my life to watch the grandmothers in my family do their — grandmothering.
A remarkable labor of love.
Abraham Lincoln’s grandmother, Bethsheba Lincoln, was born around 1741 in Virginia. After her husband was killed by Native Americans in 1786, she raised her five children—including the President’s father, Thomas—as a widow on the Kentucky frontier.
She lived until 1836, dying at the age of 94. She is buried in what is now the Fort Knox Military Reservation in Kentucky.
This is how Lincoln remembered her:
“I owe to my grandmother the first grains of sense that were ever put into my head … She was a woman of ancient and immaculate lineage of spirit, and she raised me not with the soft indulgences of the world, but with the iron of a steadfast soul.
“She was the one who taught me that to be ‘well-off’ was nothing, but to be ‘well-lived’ was everything … I am but the fruit of her long, patient, and often silent labor. If there is any light in my work, it is but a reflection of the fire she kept burning in a small, quiet hearth.“
Studies have shown grandparents are truly powerful forces in the emotional development of their grandchildren.
But as any grandparent will tell you the reverse is equally true. Our grandchildren fill our hearts — full.
The enrichment goes both ways.
Grandchildren bring joy, purpose, and energy into our lives.
It’s no stretch for me to say on many a morning my grandchildren are the very reason I get up. Their exuberance is irresistible.
Now, ALL that I know about grandmothering comes from watching Marsha, who is —
- patient listener,
- vigilant guardian,
- purposeful playmate,
- cuddly cuddler.
One of her great grandmothering practices is knitting, and by that I mean knitting for all sorts of animate and inanimate objects.
Just recently, I took note of the blankets she was knitting for our twin six-year-old granddaughters, Annalee and Margo.
But the blankets were NOT actually for them — but for their two stuffy toys, Pandy and Puppy — at the girls’ specific request.
Marsha can play any role, at any time, to serve any need. One afternoon recently, while I was stretched out on the couch taking my siesta, Sam, a serious hoop shooter, was in serious need of a ball shagger.
Marsha took up the call.
- He shot
- She shagged
Now, when he heads for the basketball hoop, he asks for Grandma, and I’m left with role of IPad holder.
Like I said, grandparents are all-purpose playmates.
In Little Women, Louisa May Alcott describes the grandmother character, sitting in her favorite armchair, knitting quietly, while the girls gathered about her.
“Her eyes, soft and patient, followed each movement with gentle interest. ‘My dears,’ she said, ‘there is no wealth like the love of a family, and no treasure so precious as the wisdom that comes with age.’ The girls listened with rapt attention, feeling that in her presence the world was safer, warmer, and fuller of hope.”
I began to wonder how the role of “Grandma” has been understood in other cultures:
“If nothing is going well, call your grandmother,” say the Italians.
An Irish saying reminds us that a grandmother is “the family’s historian, its nurse, its counselor, and its strongest link to God.”
In Mexico, they say, “Where the grandmother sits is where the culture lives.”
While a Chinese proverb notes that a grandmother’s love is “the thread that weaves together the fabric of family.”
Victor Hugo, the great architect of words, had this to say about his own grandmother:
“She was the first light of my soul, the soft hand that shielded me from the storms of a broken house. I look back and I see her not as an old woman, but as a sanctuary. She didn’t just raise me; she inhaled my sorrows so that I might breathe more easily. She was the architect of my heart. Everything I have written that is kind, everything I have done that is merciful, I stole from her.”
And perhaps the most practical observation comes from Prince William:
“As I learned from growing up, you don’t mess with your grandmother.”
Before I go let me share a little something from our Super Bowl weekend, bound to brighten your day:
Bless you all, dear grandmothers.
🙏
Just a thought…
Pat
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