I sought my soul, but my soul I could not see.
I sought my God, but my God eluded me.
I sought my brothers
— and found all three.
When the holiday season winds around each year I always look forward to getting together with my beloved sisters and my growing family.
But I admit the season brings with it a tinge of sadness — I miss my brothers so.
One might hope to encounter an unforgettable person once in a lifetime, but to think I encountered two, is really quite remarkable.
Sadly, both were taken at an early age.
As the opening poem suggests, the divine is not always found in solemn moments, but sometimes in the uproarious.
My brothers were divine masters of the uproarious.
Kevin was a gifted actor who could light up the stage.
Trained professionally, he possessed a rare ability to —
- embody any character,
- command any room, and
- elicit any emotion.
Many who saw him perform believed he was destined to an acting career.
And yet…
his true calling was found not on a public stage, but in the more intimate theater of fatherhood, friendship and marriage.
And bringing laughter to any occasion.
He consciously set aside the spotlight for a far more demanding and infinitely more rewarding role of family man and father to Casey, Tim, Mary, Brigid and Theresa.
It was in this sacred vocation of parenting he shared with Cathy that his true calling was found.
And how he could make them all laugh.
Steve, similarly, let his legal career take a back seat to his role as husband and father. In Steve’s life, Leslie, Conor, Kelly and Shane (and looking after his neighbors, Russ and Millie Hokanson) were his first priorities.
His would be a life of immersive family engagement, whether coaching, running, long walks, cliff diving, bungee jumping, lawn mowing or taking out the garbage.
And through it all he would keep laughter in the air.
If there were Oscar awards for parenting, my brothers would undoubtedly be multiple award winners for Best in Comedy.
Their homes were a studio where the masterpieces of character, compassion, and integrity were patiently crafted in a spirit of humor.
This talent for nurturing the human spirit was not confined to the walls of their homes, for they possessed an uncanny knack for reaching into the core of a person and, with great precision, find the funny bone.
I witnessed this on countless occasions.
At one Thanksgiving dinner —
This rowdy family of mine were all gathered around a Thanksgiving table where all ages from toddler to octogenarian were represented.
As was customary, Steve and Kevin were holding forth on any number of important topics through their distinct manner of Moriarty humor.
My brothers seamlessly slipped into telling one funny story after the next,
- playing the roles
- acting as the characters
- giving voice to their stories
bringing everyone to their knees in laughter..
…and I mean EVERYONE.
I remember looking around the table seeing a toddler screaming in sheer delight as her grandmother sitting next to her was doing the same.
- How could this be?
- How could humor translate so perfectly over the span of 70 years?
- How could my brothers be doing what they’re doing?
Yet, somehow, they did.
All of us around the table were lifted into a divine and blissful place of joy that can only come by way of laughter.
Kev and Steve found the unique frequency of each of our hearts and played them in perfect, harmonious accord.
They breached the toddler’s sense of wondrous absurdity and the grandma’s sense of wry, life-tested humor with equal authenticity.
It was a masterpiece in human connection.
It was truly divine.
Somehow, my two brothers provided the family with a divine connection; NOT through abstract theology, but through
- glorious
- wonderful
- Irrepressible
gut-splitting humor — a true entryway to the divine.
Oh, dear brothers, how you are missed. How you taught us to never, ever forget how laughter can bring us to our knees.
How I miss those sacred moments when you rained down laughter upon us!
Just a thought…
Brother Pat
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