I was raised on Queen Anne Hill, a quiet community atop of one of Seattle’s seven hills. My family were members of St. Anne’s Church and for 18 years my life revolved around the Catholic Church and parish activities.
My faith back then was based on centuries-old, immutable truths, enumerated in the Baltimore Catechism. All that was required of me to achieve security in this life and the next was my — unquestioning acquiescence.
And then I left for college in 1967…
…and life was never to be the same.
The revolution that raged through the 1960‘s turned the established order on its ear and where I once had a bushel of answers I found myself sinking in a boatload of questions.
Something had crept in and stolen my security: doubt.
In a literature class we studied The Grand Inquisitor by Fyodor Dostoyevsky.
It’s a strange and weird tale of what happens when Jesus Christ returns to Earth in the 16th Century and lands in Seville during the Inquisition.
As the story goes, Jesus does exactly what you’d expect him to do. He cures the sick, helps the destitute and performs all manner of helpful miracles. The people loved him.
But the Church did not. They found his ministry threatening and had him arrested and later tried and convicted for interfering with the work of the Church. He was sentenced to be burned at the stake.
The story reaches a crescendo when the Grand Inquisitor visits Jesus in his cell and explains to him, in a memorable soliloquy, why he had to go,
The Inquisitor claimed his teaching on free will was an impossible burden for human beings. The better choice, he says, is to offer them security in return for their obedience.
He goes on to say that Jesus should have taken the deal the Devil had offered him in the wilderness. That it would have been in the best interest of all.
Remember the deal?
Perform a miracle.
“And the tempter came and said to him, ‘If you are the Son of God, command these stones to become loaves of bread.’”
~But Jesus refused.
Prove you are the son of God.
“If you are the Son of God, throw yourself down; for it is written, ‘He will give His angels charge of you,’ and ‘On their hands they will bear you up, lest you strike your foot against a stone.’”
~ But Jesus refused.
Worship me and you’ll be king of the World.
“Again, the devil took him to a very high mountain, and showed him all the kingdoms of the world and the glory of them; and he said to him, ‘All these I will give you, if you will fall down and worship me.’”
~ But Jesus refused.
Jesus refused to trade our free will for a free ride.
The Grand Inquisitor believed Satan gave Jesus the opportunity to save humanity from needless suffering by giving them what they wanted:
- mystery
- miracles
- authority
Instead, Jesus gave them a more difficult path: freedom.
The professor in our class asked each of us to examine the arguments presented by the Grand Inquisitor and ask ourselves these questions:
- Were they true?
- Were they persuasive?
- Would we have taken the Devil’s deal?
Up to that point I’d never wrestled with faith; it was a given, not a decision. My faith had not been built on a foundation of free will.
When the proposition was put to me to wrestle with difficult questions, well, it felt like a burden, not a blessing. Moreover, when I examined the arguments of the Grand Inquisitor, they made sense.
Humans (like me) seemed ill-equipped to handle freedom. Just look at the history of how humans have exercised their free will. Not a pretty picture.
~ So would I have taken the Devil’s deal?
Hmm — tough question. My alcoholic mind screamed for an easier, softer way. When I drank, wasn’t I attempting to anesthetize my mind from my raging doubt? Alas, I couldn’t. Somehow, doubt needed to become my companion.
Eventually, that happened, but only after years of praying the Serenity Prayer. I reached the same conclusion Jesus reached:
Doubt is not the opposite of faith, but an element of faith.
Free will is hard work. It takes effort every day. Ah, but what greater purpose is there?
Just a thought…
Pat
Copyright © 2023 Patrick J. Moriarty. All Rights Reserved.
Would you like to submit a post to Just A Thought? To learn more, please click here.